Ah, the joys of running a small business! Waking up bright and early, setting up at local markets, and selling my lovingly crafted teas and coffees to enthusiastic customers. Sounds ideal, right? Well, there’s just one small problem. Or rather, one very loud problem.
You see, my neighbour upstairs has an unbreakable bond with his surround sound system. And when I say “unbreakable,” I mean he absolutely refuses to break the habit of cranking it up to full volume every single night.
Now, most reasonable people—those with an ounce of common courtesy—turn their noise down after 8 PM. Because, you know, people have different work schedules? Some of us get up early? Some of us enjoy sleep? Not my neighbour. Oh no. He believes in the power of immersive entertainment. And by immersive, I mean my entire flat vibrates like I’m living inside a subwoofer.
At this point, I don’t even need to watch TV myself. I can just experience his. I know exactly what’s happening in every film.
- Car chase? The walls rattle.
- Explosions? My cups jump off the counter.
- Emotional monologue? The dramatic music hums through the floorboards like an earthquake of feelings.
The best part? This cinematic experience continues until 11 PM. That’s right. Just as I’m trying to sleep, I get an unsolicited Dolby Digital surround sound experience—whether I like it or not. By the time he finally turns it off, I’m lying in bed, wide awake, staring at the ceiling, contemplating my life choices.
So, when 5 AM rolls around, and I should be waking up fresh and ready to pack my stock for the market, I’m instead resembling a sleep-deprived zombie, desperately clutching a coffee (ironically, my own coffee). The idea of lugging everything out the door and dealing with people is about as appealing as doing calculus before caffeine.
And that, my friends, is why I haven’t made it to local markets lately. Not because I don’t want to. Not because my stock isn’t ready. But because I’ve spent the night unwillingly reliving every action movie ever made, and my brain is running on fumes.
So, if you want to support my business, please—order online.
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