Let’s get one thing straight—self-employment isn’t just about chasing dreams. For some of us, it’s the only shot at having any kind of autonomy. I didn’t choose to go self-employed because I wanted to be rich or build an empire. I did it because between my autism, my partner’s needs, a mountain of bad luck, and a society that doesn’t understand us, I had no other choice.
I’ve spoken to autistic people and parents of autistic children, and the consensus is crystal clear: employment for us is a nightmare. We’re expected to conform to systems that weren’t built for us, bend over backwards, mask every moment of every day, and still get told we’re not trying hard enough. Self-employment is the only escape hatch some of us have.
And even that’s a hellscape.
Asmodee won’t dropship, which in and of itself is ridiculous. I mean, what’s the difference between them shipping to my customer or to me first? None. But they also won’t send anything out until a £200 MOQ is hit. That’s just plain nuts. Dropshipping would actually benefit not just online businesses like mine but even physical shops with limited shelf space. If a customer wants a game, and it’s not in stock, a shop should be able to say, “We can have it shipped straight to you.” But no. Asmodee’s policy is actively hurting small retailers and acting like that’s fine.
If people reading this really want to help—support us. Shop from our site. Buy our teas or coffees. Don’t go dropping cash at big stores who won’t miss your £20. We’re scraping by here.
My partner? They expect food and drink like I’m a barista-slash-chef on standby 24/7. Ever tried getting into a hyperfocus mode just to be pulled out of it to make tea again? And yet, they’ll say they’re better off alone, that they’ll go back to where they grew up because I expect them to pay for things occasionally. That’s emotional abuse. Let’s not sugar-coat it. Threatening to leave, threatening suicide, and emotionally manipulating the situation while I’m the one running the business, trying to keep us afloat—is not okay.
My partner’s father? Oh, where do we even begin? Apparently, I should be the sole breadwinner. I should be in some cushy high-paying job just so I can spoil his child. Like that’s ever going to happen. That’s why I went self-employed to begin with—because the system isn’t built for people like me. And he thinks they should do what’s right for them for once? How about what’s right for the both of us?
And when he offered to fund a holiday, he didn’t even give us enough for airport transfers or spending money. Told us to fly from Gatwick like that wouldn’t be a logistical nightmare on autism-mode. Then I’m the bad one for saying no? And if I dare to decline, my partner says they’ll just go anyway. Because, sure, emotional blackmail is a fantastic way to build a relationship.
When we last met, the father warned me to be careful with my opinions because he had a temper. Are we in primary school now? Is this some kind of playground intimidation tactic?
He also says he wants to be my friend. You know what? I don’t see him as a friend. I see him as a high school bully with a superiority complex. Full of hubris and hot air. If he’s not willing to help my business, then maybe he should stay out of my life entirely.
And my family? Don’t even get me started. My mother thinks we’re to blame for all this. My brother says I should just “dig my own way out.” What happened to actually supporting one another? I couldn’t exactly get the pot of gold from the family leprechaun either—turns out he’s fresh out of rainbows and empathy.
Meanwhile, my partner wonders why I don’t spend enough time with them. Then they wonder why we don’t have enough space between us. All while failing to understand that I work from home and I’m constantly having to manage both the business and their emotional needs. I don’t overly trust them not to disappear, either. And somehow, I’m still the villain in this narrative.
So here’s the moral of the story: buy from me. Don’t buy from shops that don’t need the help. Buy from the autistic man trying to survive in a broken system, with no safety net and people expecting him to be everything, everywhere, all at once. If there’s any millionaires or billionaires out there—Elon Musk, Vince McMahon, Bill Gates, whoever—if you’ve got a spare chunk of cash, consider investing in us. Because no one else is.
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