Disclaimer: The following post contains sarcasm, comedic exaggeration, and a healthy dose of frustration at outdated bureaucracy. Any resemblance to real-life housing policies is, unfortunately, entirely accurate.
Moving house is already a logistical nightmare. There’s packing, unpacking, losing your sanity somewhere between the boxes, and discovering just how many unnecessary kitchen gadgets you own. But what if we told you that moving could be even more complicated? Enter Riverclyde Homes and their utterly baffling in-person sign-up requirement—because nothing says “modern efficiency” like forcing people to travel hundreds of miles just to hand over some paperwork.
Let’s set the scene. We’re trying to move from the south of England to Scotland, and Riverclyde Homes has graciously invited us to sign up in person. Not online. Not via Zoom, Teams, or even a quick WhatsApp video call. Nope! You have to physically show up between 10 AM and 1 PM, because apparently, their office is stuck in the pre-internet era where ID verification can only be done through face-to-face interactions.
Now, let’s break down the sheer absurdity of this process:
- Travel to Scotland – No problem! It’s only a 12 to 15-hour bus journey, assuming we go for the cheapest option. So, an overnight trip it is, because nothing says “ready to sign a contract” like being delirious from sleep deprivation.
- Find somewhere to stay? Nope. – Our family won’t let us stay overnight, and we don’t have the finances for a hotel, so we get to enjoy the thrilling experience of turning right back around.
- Sign up in person – The golden moment! A short meeting that could’ve been an email.
- Travel back home – Because, fun fact, we still have all our belongings at our current place.
- Pack everything and move – Just another 12 to 15-hour journey, but this time with all our stuff in tow. Bonus points if we bring a cat who will undoubtedly scream for the entire trip.
- Hand back the keys – Assuming our current landlord, who takes about a month to respond to anything, even acknowledges that we’re leaving.
All of this could have been avoided with a simple remote sign-up process. After all, most of the world manages to verify identity remotely. Banking? Online. Job applications? Online. Buying a house? Even that can start online! But renting a home? Nope, that apparently requires a pilgrimage.
And here’s another groundbreaking idea: instead of making people travel long distances just to collect their keys, why not use a key safe? The keys could be left in a secure lockbox next to the door, and the tenant could be given the code to access them. This would eliminate the need for staff to be physically present and save everyone time, money, and unnecessary hassle. You know, like how Airbnbs and rental properties worldwide have been doing for years.
Even our current social landlord used a key safe for access to our current property—so it’s not like this is some futuristic, sci-fi concept. If they can manage it, surely a housing association should be able to as well?
And let’s not forget the financial burden. Riverclyde Homes’ policy doesn’t take into account that many people moving into social housing are on benefits or low income. Forcing people to pay for two separate long-haul trips before they even move is not just inconvenient—it’s completely unreasonable. A remote option wouldn’t just be easier; it would be cheaper, both for the tenant and for the housing association that wouldn’t need to accommodate unnecessary in-person visits.
So, dear Riverclyde Homes, let’s talk modernization. It’s 2025. Let’s embrace technology and make housing accessible to people who don’t have the time, money, or energy to complete a three-stage endurance test just to rent a home. Because if we wanted that level of effort, we’d sign up for a triathlon instead.
Disclaimer: This post is based on personal experience and observations. Housing policies may change, so check with the provider for the latest requirements.
#MovingNightmare #HousingPolicies #RemoteSignUpWhen #BureaucracyAtItsFinest #WhyIsThisSoHard