Once upon a time, in a land plagued by job shortages, cost-of-living crises, and the ever-looming spectre of “we’re looking for someone with more experience,” there lived an autistic jobseeker. That jobseeker is me. And let me tell you, trying to get employment in the UK right now is like trying to convince a cat to take a bath – theoretically possible, but you’re going to come out of it scratched and traumatised.
The Application Process: Or, How to Develop a Sudden Loathing for Cover Letters
First off, let’s talk about job applications. The joy of spending three hours crafting the perfect cover letter (because apparently, we have to beg for employment in essay form) only to be ignored so thoroughly that I start to wonder if I accidentally sent it via carrier pigeon. You’d think, after applying for the 57th job in a row, I’d be numb to the rejection, but somehow, the words “we regret to inform you” still feel like a personal attack.
Also, let’s address the absolute scam that is “entry-level” jobs requiring five years of experience. Who, exactly, is this for? Time travellers? Prodigies who were interning in the womb?
Job Interviews: The Social Olympics
And then there’s the sheer hubris of the phrase “it’s easier to find work when you’re in work.” Oh, is it? Because last I checked, people working full-time don’t exactly have the luxury of disappearing for mid-week interviews without raising suspicion. If anything, trying to juggle a job while secretly applying for another one is a masterclass in stress – like playing 4D chess, except the pieces are on fire and the board is actively trying to ruin your life.
I’ve personally had 18 years of doing exactly that while working part-time, and what did I get for my efforts? Disappointingly no full-time work, and my mum thinking I’m lazy and lack ambition—despite the fact that I’m running a business. Because, clearly, building something from the ground up is just a glorified hobby, right?
And even if you do manage to get to the interview stage—if you’re lucky enough to hear anything beyond the usual bottled “we regret to inform you that you haven’t been selected”—the response is often something vague along the lines of “it’s not because you’re autistic, but it’s because you’re autistic.” Somehow, they manage to completely ignore the fact that you might actually be the best person for the job. In my case, I have an SVQ Level 2 in Business & Admin and a GSVQ Level 2 in IT, yet because I can’t get a job in either field, I’m running my own business—which, like many others in my niche, is struggling due to the current economy. Because, apparently, actually being qualified for something means nothing if you don’t also fit their unwritten social criteria.
Ah yes, the interview process – where autistic people go to suffer. Because nothing says “ideal work environment” quite like a formal social interrogation where you must simultaneously make eye contact, mask your natural speech patterns, and attempt to answer vague questions like “Tell me about a time you overcame a challenge” (mate, I got out of bed today, does that count?).
And let’s not forget the classic: “Why do you want to work for this company?” Because I need money to survive, Brenda. I don’t have a lifelong passion for admin roles in a logistics firm. I just like eating and not being homeless.
Selling Stuff? In THIS Economy?
Alright, so let’s say you’ve given up on the job market and decided to sell things instead. Great idea! Except… no one’s buying anything because we’re all broke.
Running a business right now is like being a door-to-door salesman in the middle of an apocalypse. “Excuse me, ma’am, can I interest you in some ethically sourced coffee?” “No, I’m too busy eating beans straight from the tin to afford luxuries, thanks.”
Marketing is another nightmare, because all the advice is just “Be authentic! Be engaging!” Alright, but the most authentic thing I have to say right now is “Buy my stuff so I can afford my electricity bill.” Somehow, I don’t think that’s the branding aesthetic people are looking for.
Especially Fun When Your Own Parents Are Yelling “Get a Job”
As if the struggle wasn’t enough, it’s even harder when both your parents and your partner’s parents are in the background like a broken record, shouting, “Just get a job!” as if that’s the magic solution to a job market that feels like a dystopian game show. Oh yes, because clearly, I’m choosing to be unemployed for the fun of it, Susan. Let me just waltz into the nearest high-paying position with my sheer determination and winning personality.
The Harsh Reality: Employment Statistics for Autistic People
If all of this wasn’t enough, the numbers paint an even bleaker picture. According to the Office for National Statistics, only around 26% of working-age autistic people were in employment during 2020/21, with a slight improvement to about 30% in 2021/22. For comparison, around 50% of disabled people are employed, while the general population sits at a comfortable 80%. And yet, somehow, we’re still being told to “just get a job” as if it’s that simple.
A report by Autistica highlighted that just 21.7% of autistic individuals were employed in 2020. So if you’re struggling, you’re not alone – it’s literally a systemic issue. Employers love to preach about inclusivity, but when it comes to actually hiring autistic people? Well, let’s just say their enthusiasm mysteriously disappears faster than my patience during a phone interview.
Conclusion: We’re All Just Vaguely Struggling
At the end of the day, whether you’re desperately trying to find employment or attempting to make sales, the UK economy is making life difficult for everyone (except maybe the billionaires, but they’re busy flying to space). And if you’re autistic? Well, good luck explaining to employers that “excellent attention to detail” doesn’t mean “will work for free while being micromanaged into the dirt.”
So, if you’re also out here fighting the good fight, know that you’re not alone. We’ll get through this. Probably. Hopefully. If not, at least we can all commiserate over a cup of tea and the knowledge that at least we’re not alone in our suffering.
#UKJobMarket #AutisticAndEmployed(ish) #SendHelp #SmallBusinessStruggles #WhyIsLifeSoHard #HireMePls