We thought we’d seen it all—until someone decided our holistic shop must be a black market for dried insects and questionable reptile bits.
It started simple enough:
“Do you have any dried scarabs?”
No, no we do not.
Apparently, they’re “fantastic to help with skin conditions such as multiple sclerosis” (???), and surely we could just pull some strings with our wholesalers and grab a handful. When we explained this wasn’t possible, they asked:
“Would there be a reason why?”
Well… besides it being entirely unethical, illegal, and weird? Yes. Many.
What followed was a shopping list straight from a necromancer’s Amazon wishlist:
- Dried scorpions?
- Turtle eggs?
- Dried tongue of newt?
Each time, we explained that this is absolutely not something we could or would ever sell. We’re a holistic shop—not a potion dispensary in a fantasy novel.
Eventually, they gave up and said:
“I’ll have a look at a witchcraft store, sorry to bother you.”
Honestly, probably a better fit.
To be clear:
Onyx Dragon has never, does not currently, and never will sell dried animals, reptiles, or anything remotely resembling black market biology. We’re weird, but not illegal weird.
And if you ever come across someone pretending to be us on platforms that aren’t listed in our official socials—it’s not us. We do not sell on sketchy corners of the internet. If you’re unsure, check with us directly.
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#OnyxDragon #WallOfShame #SarcasticSupport #HolisticNotHogwarts #WeDontDoDeadThings #ScarabsAreNotCures #PotionRequestDenied #ImNotBuyingThat #SpellIngredientsNotIncluded