You might be wondering — with all the blog posts I’ve written about my family, why don’t I just approach them and confront things directly?
It’s a fair question. But the truth is far more complicated than simply having a conversation.
For as long as I can remember, my family — at the very least — have exerted an unhealthy level of control over what I do, where I go, and who I’m allowed to be. That control hasn’t always been overt; sometimes it’s been subtle, woven into expectations and emotional pressure. Other times, it’s come through my brothers being used to “keep me in line” — a pattern of triangulation that played out again and again whenever I dared to step outside of the approved narrative.
They’ve never approved of who I’m with. They’ve never supported the fact that I run a business — something that means the world to me. Boundaries? Never respected. I’ve been gaslit more times than I can count, made to feel like my emotions, thoughts, and lived experiences weren’t valid.
When a family system is built on control, silence, and manipulation, confrontation isn’t simple — it’s walking into a trap. There’s no real dialogue when one side refuses to hear you, when every word is twisted, when the very act of speaking your truth is met with punishment.
So no, I haven’t “just talked to them.” And I may never do. Because sometimes, protecting your peace means walking away from people who were supposed to love you but only ever tried to own you.
This space — this blog — is where I get to reclaim that voice. On my terms.
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